Am I Having a Mid-Life Crisis?

I sometimes encounter clients who cannot seem to shake bouts of depression and periods of stress emerging from a growing sense of purposelessness, emptiness and finality in their lives. Often men in their early fifties to late sixties, they come to realize that they have been drinking more or perhaps they’ve had an affair or started an exotic hobby. Their spouse and children are concerned about them because they do not seem like themselves and are not communicating. Friends comment that they’ve lost their old spark and vitality. Work has become repetitive, and less satisfying. Perhaps they are facing an impending reorganization or they have been reorganized, which can build to an event that escalates the emergence of this “mid-life crisis”.

Defining a mid-life crisis

Is there such a thing as a mid-life crisis? I believe so. Often, when you look at a picture of a young child you see a spontaneous being excited about being alive in this world. When you look at a picture of that same child as an adult, you see a smiling but more serious, stiffer and wary individual. What has happened along the way? It’s called growing up; being raised and socialized, and finding your place or way in the world. And yet in judging the differences it becomes apparent that something essential has been lost along the way.

Recovering your dreams and passion for life

Our dreams and intensity of feelings for this wonderful, big world often become more suppressed as we are socialized. Are they gone for good? I believe they can be resurfaced, allowing us to question whether we have been living the life we really wanted. If a person can stop for a moment when they are in the midst of this mid-life crisis, and ask themselves what would bring deeper meaning and fulfillment, it may provide the beginnings of a solution. What aroused their sense of passion and purpose when they were younger may in fact be the answer. If you’re unable to find this answer on your own, then seek out someone to talk to, as conversation is a helpful vehicle for insight.

Perhaps when we were young we wanted to be a hero or an artist, an athlete or a writer, an inventor or an entrepreneur, an entertainer or a farmer, a soldier or an artisan. That dream may have been shunted aside for a lifestyle deemed more stable and ‘adult’. Our passions were perceived as something unrealistic and financially insecure. It’s unfortunate, because we may have been able to develop that dream, and enjoyed the passion it gave us in order to develop it into a productive living. In fact, it may have given us that feeling of purpose and completion that we are now seeking.

Seizing the possibilities of middle life

A mid-life crisis is actually an opportunity to rediscover our passion, and incorporate it into our current lifestyle or even change our life completely. Our fifties and sixties are our mid-life, and plenty of possibilities remain for us. We have much living still to do.